The beginning

Guess like most things that are bad for you my addiction started off pretty harmless, it felt like a sexual awakening during puberty. However little did i know at 16-17 that i had entered myself into a demonic world that would have a spiritual stronghold over my being well into aldulthood.

When i entered into the world of porn i was in my late teens, at period when sex was main subject on the lips of my peers. I thought that masturbation and porn would be a way of experiencing sex and getting myself ready for the moment when i could lose my virginity. Little did i know that once i opened the door of pornography i had entered into a sick world that would obscure my views on woman, relationships and love.

What started off so innocently as curiosity soon turned into a painful obsession with flesh in the female form. From the moment i typed in my first xxx url i became obsessed with porn. The nakedness of these women overwhelmed and i began to meditate on my lust for women nearly on a daily basis. As i grew my lust for sex also matured with me. Where as in the beginning i had a three sites i concentrated on, my need to feed my lust slowly led me to being a super surfer of the Internet at my peek having over 100 sites at my disposal. As the lust matured so did my tastes, my lack of fulfillment led me harder forms of porn. Naked woman or just softcore porn where no longer enough to fill the gap that porn was putting in my life i wanted more and couldn't get enough.

The worrying thing about porn is that there is a genre depending on the spirit of lust that is controlling the heart at that moment in time. I found myself having intimate knowledge of the different genres and prominent actresses in each one. This intimate knowledge led to my soul being in a place where i found myself knowing these ladies characters so much that i was in lustful on screen relationship with them. Depending on the spirit of lust that controlling me at the moment so would my tastes go. When i grew tired of one genre or actress the devil would send another in my life that would have a stronger hold on my being. This vicious cycle kept on going as the bondage in my spirit became stronger.

Playing back the scenes in my head, it is funny how fantasy can easily stem over into real life. Whether at school, at work or in public I found myself playing back these horrible sex scenes with woman i met during my day to day runnings. It reached a point where i could not look at woman without undressing her and lusting for her. I found myself trying to replay pornographic scenes with the women i met in my life. I had lost the ability to love, all women where to me was objects for sex. Regardless of colour, age, physical build  or religion, porn had programmed me to relating women back into sexual fantasy. So added to the women in porn i was also taking woman from real life and trying to relay them into my fantasies. This made life a nightmare as my heart was being attacked in every aspect of dominion, lust had taken control of my life. The female form was my little idol worshipped daily (Thou shall not have another god before Me). As example, at one point in life i could not sleep unless i masturbated.  That's the power of addiction brothers and sisters. 

My story goes on; however if you can relate to my story this far i assure that Jesus is the answer you have been looking. Do not let the devil hold you on account for your sins, Christ has already said that you are not guilty and has paid the ultimate price by laying down His life for your freedom. Just accept that the word of God is true and through Jesus your sins have been forgiven and you do not have to live this lie called pornography, lust and fornication anymore.

I will be putting in more entries on how i struggled and also how i finally managed to start breaking free. I will be also referencing the Word of God which gives us the ammunition to conquer the deceiver in times trial.

May God be with you

Bro Lee

First Post

I would like to greet you all in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, through who we have authority to conquer all adversities in life.

This Blogspot is intended to help and shed light to all those who are experiencing problems with sex related desires, primarily porn/sex addiction and also shed light on God's vision for Christian relationships.

In the posts to follow I will talk more of who i am and my personal journey with porn addiction. I will also be sharing bible verses and testimonies from other websites to help and encourage one another through this journey.

May the love of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

Brother Lee